her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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