Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
