I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
