kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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