Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
