it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
