Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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