my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
