I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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