oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
