But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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