I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
