is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
