I want to walk on stilts...naked
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize