he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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