how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
