im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
