Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
