i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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