i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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