i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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