As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
