There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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