i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
