Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
