R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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