I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize