She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
