remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
