I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
