i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
