She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
