I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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