More tranny stories later!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
