so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
