imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
