I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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