I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
