Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
