There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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