You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
