hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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