I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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