i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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