so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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