I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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