Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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