The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
