Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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