I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
