Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize