I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
