I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
