It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
