I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
