Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
