I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
