ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she smelled like a LAN party
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
