so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dick very happy bro
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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