It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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