I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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