i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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